I silently asked every man I dated to make me happy. I placed every hope of a more fulfilled life on their shoulders. And when the happiness and fulfilment didn't come, I found in them something lacking, turned my back and left.
I remember the advice my dad gave me after I moved to London in 2007 and started my first 'proper' long term job as a team assistant in a private equity firm.
"Don't get involved in gossip and office politics", he told me. "Do your work and be someone people can trust."
When we come to a conversation weighed down with old thinking about a person, we can't do anything but overlook the deeper truth of who they are because we're hooked on an idea of who we think they are. The deeper truth, no matter what the external behaviour, is love. That's true for all of us.