I woke up one morning last week with a deep desire to cocoon myself somewhere warm. I booked myself a day pass at a local gym, which a friend had recommended for its pool, sauna and steam room. A large banner above one end of the pool read:"You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
For many years, ever since leaving my job really, I've been seeking. I've been seeking the truth about life. I've been looking for the ultimate answers and it's almost like I thought that when I found them, then I'd be able to live.
In the beginning, you were dancing.
There were hundreds of thousands of people around you but you either didn't notice, or didn't care. The dance was so beautiful, so joyous, so exciting, so full, that you simply didn't think about anything else.
The journey of choosing courage is really the journey of choosing your heart. The heart calls you to your highest purpose and deepest service. It calls you to your greatest joy. And yet though the heart will always guide you towards Truth, it takes courage to listen and follow its whispers into the night.
Is it just me, or have you ever noticed that if you spend more than about five minutes looking something up on the internet, you wind up with about fifty gazillion bits of conflicting advice?
Is waking up earlier the key to unlocking your success or is it totally ok that you prefer to live your life a little on the later side?
I love bold, bright colours. A Springtime of lush greens, deep purples and vibrant yellows. And I love the delicate pastels of shells on the seashore. Soft relaxing greys, whites, pinks and blues.
I love hanging out in my yoga pants and I love the occasional opportunity to play the princess.
I'm all for the passionate, lustful kiss and the sweet sweetness of the gentlest brushing of lips.
All of us, over the course of our lives, will feel the call to deviate from the more common path. Something inside of us will be called upon to go left, when it seems that everyone else is going right.
It might arrive as a creative urge, to create something different, in a way that's different, to what the masses around you are creating. Or it might arrive in a deeply felt sense of the "right" thing to do in a particular situation, when the powerful pull of the majority would have you keep quiet and toe the line.
I knew I was in the right place when Bill looked around the circle at us and said:
"I don't want you to believe anything I'm saying here. If you don't agree, say so. If there's something that doesn't make sense to you, say so. What I want is for you to find out for yourselves in your own experience what's true."
I've lost track of the number of times I've written on this subject (here's just one example), an indication of just how important I believe it to be and how rare it is to find others who are grounded enough in their own being that they have no need to sell us on their own beliefs.
As I sit here on my makeshift bed (I have a real bed arriving soon) in my new place, there's really only one thing I want to write to you today.
And that's to let you know that I understand how sometimes you look at all the people out there in your industry and feel inadequate in comparison.
I understand why, sometimes, you feel like there's no way you'll make it because those other people are prettier, funnier, more articulate, more talented, more experienced, and way better at making friends and connections.
"Find your own path and embrace the journey."
It was marked on one of those decorative boxes you can buy to store things in. It caught my eye. And yesterday, when I was out for a hike with a client-turned friend, it took on a whole new meaning.
Follow the crowd.
Keep the job you hate.
Satisfy yourself with mediocrity.
You remember, don't you, how a month before packing up and leaving London I discovered kickboxing? I fell in love. The sweat, the power, the permission to explore another side of myself.
Coming back to my Northern roots and the town where I grew up, I didn't expect to find a martial arts place up here. I think I'd cultivated that awful London attitude of how nothing good can possibly exist in other parts of the country. So I didn't expect to find anything and I certainly didn't expect to find anything good.
You know you’re not living your truth. You know you’re shying away, shrinking back, telling yourself it’s not possible, that you shouldn’t want everything you want and that you should settle for something more…normal.
Yesterday I went to visit a co-working space close to my parents' home. The internet at my parents' house is pretty temperamental and I needed a place to get out to and be around other people whilst I work.
It's based in an old mill down by the river. It's full of artists and photographers and people working on very beautiful and exciting projects. Exactly the sort of things I'm interested in.
It SHOULD have been a clear yes.
Except it wasn't.