Allow me to Slap You Around the Head and Wake You Up?

I woke up sweating from a nightmare. A boy and a girl had been trying to force their way through the door of my flat. Eventually, I managed to lock them out. She disappeared and he got sucked into his mobile phone and locked in there. 

Totally normal sleep activity.

From inside his phone, the boy then hacked into my laptop, downloading and stealing an important file which somehow meant I'd get no return on the sale of my flat.

That's when I woke up. Sweating.

From there, my thoughts immediately turned downwards, towards hell.

My flat sale won't go through.
I'm going to be stuck in London.
Poor me. 
I'm lonely.
Poor me.
I'll die alone.
Poor me.

So I did what I always do. Turned to the thing that's become the one thing I can rely on when my mind is churning out this sort of shit.

I took out my journal. And I wrote. 

And thank goodness for the pages and the words because now, 30 minutes later, I feel so much better, back on track, ready to take on my day and do what I'm here to do. 

Maybe you need the message I gave myself today? Maybe your mind is taking you off into self pity and feeling sorry for yourself and thinking that your life's a mess and nothing's ever going to quite work?

Allow me:

Feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing in self pity will get you precisely...NOWHERE.

No one's coming to sort your life out for you. No one else can change it or make it better for you. Maybe a friend can provide some comfort, if you're lucky, but they can't do the work you need to do.

Only YOU can do that. Obviously.

YOU have to take responsibility. YOU have to take action. YOU have to sort your thoughts out. 

And that's all it is really. Thoughts. One thought sends you up. Another thought sends you down. Which way do you want to go? 

Down is the easy choice. Nothing good ever comes from the easy choice. 

But the hard choice, up, is....well, it's HARD. It's hard to choose up when you're in the habit of choosing down.

So you need a metaphorical slap around the face (or maybe even a real one). Something to wake you up. Something to snap you out of the trance and help you change direction. Down to up.

Again, allow me:

WAKE. THE FUCK. UP. 

Do you see what you're doing to yourself with your thoughts?

Do you recognise how you're choosing to make your own life harder and sadder?

Do you see how the negative thought has really nothing to do with reality? 

Do you see how it's just a story playing out in your mind?

Is that what you want? Is that how you want to spend your day? Will you really let the ego win? 

Or do you want to choose differently? Get back on track? Raise your consciousness a little in this moment? Move up the ladder from fear to love?

Wouldn't that be better? More productive? Nicer? 

I think it would.

SO WAKE UP AND CHOOSE A DIFFERENT THOUGHT RIGHT NOW.

Stop indulging in your victim story. Throw that story out. Burn it. It's a crappy story. That story never won the Man Booker Prize. Maybe it entered. And you know what place it came? LAST. It's the worst fucking story on the planet. 

Pick up your pen. 

Open your journal.

And start writing.

Write a new story. 

Any story you want.

You get to decide.

Because you? 

YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF YOUR OWN LIFE. 

Never forget it.

Love and courage,

Leah