A couple of months ago I met up with a reader in Geneva. We've been in touch for quite some time via Facebook and email. She too left her job to follow her heart; to create a life that felt more in alignment with who she is. If we're talking time, you could say I was a "few steps ahead" having left my job quite a bit earlier and "further along" in my business journey.
I put all of that in quotation marks because it seems pretty irrelevant in terms of where we find ourselves in actual growth terms.
Of the many things we talked about over the afternoon and evening we spent together, one topic that created a little tug at my heart was the theme of synchronicity.
She recounted all the wonderful, magical moments of synchronicity that were occurring in her life. The opportunities, the people, the events and everything else that seemed to be coming to support her. Little to none of it was financial but always, at just the right time, something would happen to restore faith and point her in the right direction.
As she spoke, I felt a little sadness inside. Perhaps some jealousy too. A longing for a time that once was but seemed to have disappeared from my life completely.
I knew, of course, exactly what she was talking about. In the days, weeks, months and anything into the first couple of years after leaving my job, my life seemed to be full of synchronicity. So often, as if by magic, everything fell into place.
But that feeling that had been so common in the earlier days of creating my new life had all but disappeared over the last year. Very little seemed to come easily. Things didn't match up in that perfect, magical way. Much of it felt like pushing and clinging and now, with the gift of hindsight, my mind wanting to take me in a direction that didn't match up with the truth that was in my heart.
I'm talking about the vision of success taken from what I could see around me. The location independent lifestyle, the online courses that would entirely release me from having to do very much at all, and the ludicrous notion that I would be happier the less time I spent engaging with my community.
These things WEREN'T the vision when I first started on this journey. Those ideas came later as I was exposed more and more to what other people were creating. It seemed like the dream life, you know? And yet, as I hope I've been managing to explain to you with my latest posts, the closer I got to this vision, the more I realised how empty it was for me.
And then there have been these last few weeks, where things have started to crumble in the most wonderful way. It was the acceptance that changed everything. Accepting that I was off track and that I had to stop overriding and overruling my heart with my head.
In that acceptance I found - I AM FINDING - a sort of freedom I haven't felt in quite some time. And with it all, synchronicity is returning.
Emails from people that give me chills because they feel so right and in alignment with where I'm heading. Conversations with friends leading to meetings with new people I'm excited to learn from. Opportunities for coaching conversations arising effortlessly. And yesterday, the ease with which an agreement came with a previous client whose mission lights me up with such great force to enter into a year long coaching journey together.
There's a sense of coming full circle, returning to the work I set out to do.
The message today is this:
Something inside you always knows when there's a disconnect. It might be hard to recognise or even confusing at times. Sometimes it's unclear whether something doesn't feel right because you're being tested to step up or because you're off track.
My answer to figuring that out is simply to allow things to unfold. There's no rush, after all. This is just life doing what it does best - happening. Sooner or later, as I'm now finding, there'll be a point at which the pain of the disconnect will start to scream, à la Finding Nemo, "YOU'RE. GOING. THE. WRONG. WAY".
That will be the point at which you have to decide to LET. GO. You'll have to stop clinging to the cliff face and allow yourself to fall ALL the way down.
As I found so often in the earlier days of this journey, it's the moment in which you decide to let go completely that everything comes rushing to support you.
Let go. Allow yourself to fall. The rest will honestly take of itself.
Love and courage,