Oblivion for the light

I have never known an emptiness like this.
Motivation left me for other lovers long ago.
It returns, but with dwindling frequency
and only ever
to steal a clumsy kiss in the dark night.
It rouses me with its passionate promises of becoming
and for a brief moment
my pulse starts up again with hope.
This time, perhaps, it will stay;
reignite the rudder to drive this life.
But it does not stay and is never sustained.
It plants itself on my lips only, it seems, as a cruel tease;
a reminder of how we used to be.
Surrender to the oblivion is the only door out.
That, I know.
Yet like a floozy I keep falling for the old tricks
and find myself too often back in bed
with desire and hope.

Love and courage,

Leah