In the name of self-improvement

In the name of self-improvement 
I abandoned myself.
Cast off all that was real
And flung it on the dumpster
In search of a better me.
They spoke with such authority 
All those ‘experts’
And their advice seemed sane and good
Until I realised
That what seemed good
Was actually planting seeds of
‘You’re not good enough’.
They spoke with such conviction
And their worlds were so shiny
And hordes of people bowed at their feet
So
How could they be wrong?
I dived in with great gusto.
I was going to be improved
Better
BEST!
And then...
And then I would be happy. So happy.
But after many years of this improving 
I have to say
I didn’t feel much improved.
One day,
I made the most startling discovery
That
I had been perfect all along.
And so I traipsed back to the dumpster
Where I had abandoned myself years before
And put myself back on
Like a favourite old cardigan rediscovered in a box beneath my bed.
And now it is me who speaks with conviction,
“There is nothing to improve!”

Love and courage,

Leah