For All The Times You Doubt Yourself

Every time you think you're not good enough, it's a lie. 

Every time you doubt whether you have anything worth contributing, it's a lie. 

Every time you think there's something wrong with you, it's a lie. 

Every time you compare yourself and come out bottom, it's a lie. 

Every time you question your ability to make a difference, it's a lie.

Every time you're riddled with anxiety, you're living inside a lie.

Every time you're shut down by fear, you're living inside a lie.

Every time you think you're a broken piece of machinery and that somehow you really are more fucked up than everyone else, it's a lie.

Every time you step down and away from something that's calling to you, you're living inside a lie.

Every time you worry what other people will think, you're in a lie.

Every time you think you're less than, it's a lie.

Every time you're beating yourself up, you're living inside a lie. 

A lie. An illusion masquerading as truth. It's thought. Mental construct. Illusion. All illusion.

But you don't push it aside. You don't just tell yourself, "ok, this is a lie" just because I or anyone else said so and try to sweep it away. You find out for yourself. You bring it closer. Right up close. You let it be there. You look at it. Behind it and under it and over it and all around it and you find out what it really is. 

And every time what you'll find is thoughts and thinking. Thoughts and thinking just coming and coming and getting sticky and the story getting bigger and more elaborate.

Thoughts are real. Their content is not.

Impossible for you not to be good enough. Impossible for you to have nothing worth contributing. Impossible for you to come out bottom. Impossible that you're broken. See the insanity of it. It's like looking at two birds sitting in a tree and saying the bird on the left is doing a better job of being a bird than the one on the right. Or it's like looking at a sheep and a duck and saying one is doing life better than the other. Really, it's true insanity. Life is living life. And you are that life. You cannot do it wrong or worse or better than anyone or anything else. You're a blackbird. She's a robin. But you're both perfect. Just different expressions of the same thing. 

Love and courage,

Leah