Before what peers back in the looking glass
Before every thought
Sometimes it is worth not just reading something, but giving yourself the opportunity to really read something. I mean that experience of feeling beyond the words to the space between and beneath. That's all the words are ever trying to do, actually - to form a shape and vibration that somehow beckons you deeper into the space where words do not exist and yet everything is communicated.
It was a gloriously sunny morning and I was sitting in the cemetery talking to a friend in London. The weather in London had been beautiful too and my friend was telling me about the pretty daisy chain she'd made the day before. It wasn't the beauty of the daisy chain she lingered on, however, but the fact that, the next morning, all the daisies in that chain looked pretty much dead.
Of all the things in the world that could have triggered me this time, it was a comment about salt that got me. Specifically, a note about how perhaps I should stop putting so much of it in my cooking. Whilst he was already moving on with the conversation, I could feel the familiar fire of having been triggered bubbling away. I was outraged.
I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and agitated. By the time I'd had a shower and got dressed, I was positively boiling over with tension.I put two blocks on my yoga mat, sat down and closed my eyes. Almost immediately, a phrase rose up:
"I feel overwhelmed right now, and that's ok."